Leaving the Adventist Church:
The Journey Ahead


For many Adventists, especially those born and raised as such, leaving thre Adventist church can be a difficult experience. Below are excerpts from chapter 16 of "It's Okay NOT to Be a Seventh-day Adventist," by Arthur and Theresa Beem, former Adventists now Catholics (used by permission). Available on Amazon.


Plan of Action

If you have definitely decided that God is leading you out of Adventism, you need to make a plan of action. That may sound weird, but it is hard to passively drift out of your church if you have been actively involved. First and foremost and at every step, we urge you to pray earnestly. This is one thing in your life that you don't have to do quickly. Once you step out, you will feel such peace, you will wonder why you ever hesitated. For some people though, it is as frightening as stepping off a cliff. Focus on your relationship with Christ and then as you are led, begin your journey into the arms of Christ and His vast body.


The Confrontation

Verbalizing that you are considering leaving can be a courageous and powerful step. We recommend that you tell your family and friends individually, rather than in a group, for fear of the "pile on" method of attack. Always say a prayer to give you words and strength when confrontations begin. Resist with all your might getting into arguments. Your newfound truths will not endear you to them, nor will any amount of argument.

You might be called: disgruntled, unstable, deceived, rebellious, a quitter. They will honestly believe that you just haven't studied the Bible or doctrine well enough, They may leave you pamphlets or CDs or tapes for you to listen to and when you don't scramble back into fold. they will be left nonplussed. They may, despite your protests, insist your departure is being based on being hurt by someone in the church.

In many cases the people you tell will be so shocked that they don't reply at all. They may make a casual reply such as, "oh, we could tell you were heading in that direction" and that will be it. Even if you want to discuss it more they will avoid the subject and perhaps they will even avoid you. 

Keep in touch with your closest Adventist friends and family. They will be very confused and scared for you. Even if they are hostile to you, it is important to show grace to them and be concerned about their feelings. Pray for them. Let them constantly see that God is living in you, giving you peace and joy. Even if you have simply been a cultural Christian and have no relationship with God, let your better nature come out when dealing with your closest Adventist family. Don't argue with them, it is futile. Let them say you are crazy or deceived without retort. Just love them and know that God has a different plan for them or He would have opened their eyes at the same time He did yours.


Group Hug

Find an ex-SDA you respect and begin to develop a support system during this time. There are many online groups that can help. . . . Other Christians, though willing to sympathize, cannot really understand what you are going through. The majority of Christians know very little about Adventism. They will question why you have had such a traumatic experience.


We are Family

Don't expect too much from other Christian denominations. They may have healthier theology, but they are just people with more foibles than merits--like all of us. Mainstream churches can be cold and unfriendly too. Go in with the idea that you are going to love them and accept them. These are the new brothers and sisters in Christ that God has given you. You are going to spend eternity with them, so enjoy getting to know them now. If you don't learn to accept other Christians, you will end up in lonely isolation. Find a church that spiritually uplifts you in both worship and doctrine. They can be hard to find but don't give up.


It's Okay

It's okay for friends and relatives to believe you are nuts, deceived or a heretic. Jesus said we must love Him more than parents, extended family or friends. Christ will be your defense and solace.

It's okay to feel guilt temporarily. You may have hurt your SDA family and friends. It will be natural for you to feel saddened by the change in your life. Get involved in a new church. As with all things, pray.

It's okay to worship on Sunday, God is never offended when we worship Him no matter what day it is. It cannot be more wrong to attend church on Sunday as it is to go to Wednesday night prayer meeting. Any day is a good day to corporately praise and pray to the Lord.

It's okay to feel out of control and confused about what you believe and what you are learning. Your Adventist family and friends may look for a "crack" in your new theology in order to bring it down over your head. Have confidence. If you know the Original Source of theology, you don't have to worry. This is about who you know, not what you know: "He who began a good work in you wull be faithful to complete it" (Philippians 1:6).